Learning to Run

The reality of life without a pastor is harsh.  I don’t know how some people live this way intentionally.  It is horrible.

25 years of leadership in some capacity has left me technically well suited to life without a pastor.  I can feed myself spiritually, I have done so for years.  But I need a leader.

Without a pastor, our church is being run by managers or sheepdogs.  I know.  I used to be the pastor here after all, and the men currently involved are doing their best. But they are NOT shepherds, they are sheepdogs.

We need a man of God.  I have prayed for years that God would send us a man to replace me.  A shepherd after God’s heart.  A passionate student of the word with more than just zeal to back him up.  Someone who will command these people in the right way and steal their hearts for God as I used to do.

I also need a pastor for personal growth.  Who do I go to now?  The sheep I used to lead?  My old pastor, who barely knows me?  Some internet personality?  No.  Only a pastor will do.  It’s been barely two months since I resigned and I am hungering for a man to lead me and lead us.

God may send us a green kid or a living fossil.  Right now I don’t care.  But this church and this repentant sinner desperately need a pastor to follow.  I’ll paint his office, renovate his house, give him my house if necessary…I’ll lead singing for him or sit outside in the rain if he needs me to…I’ll fetch him water, shine his shoes, or clean his car if he needs me to.  I still remember all the things that I wished others would help me with when I was the pastor.  I’ll do those and more if he needs me to.  I hope he won’t see me as a potential Absalom, because I do not want his position.  I desperately pray for him to succeed where I failed. 

I suspect I won’t be the easiest sheep to shepherd.  I’ll know when the shepherd is blowing smoke, and when he is listening to the voice of God.  But I NEED a shepherd – even an imperfect smoke blowing pastor is better than none.

Please God, send ME a pastor.  Before the wolves get me.

Acts 20:29 For I know this, that after my departing shall grievous wolves enter in among you, not sparing the flock.