I'm a wordsmith, a carpenter, an ex-pastor, and a repentant sinner. I have seven wonderful children and an amazing wife who still loves me.
(This letter was written just as God was bringing me to my knees. I believe the resultant outpouring of prayer greatly contributed to my deliverance.) Hello. Do you know what is most difficult about writing prayer letters? Realism. Because its easy to write and tell about the things that have happened in our lives. I … More Real 1
The following is not intended to be derogatory, nor should it be construed that I am pointing fingers at anyone besides myself. I have spent my life in the IFB movement, and know it intimately. In many ways, I could be the poster child for it, for both good and bad. Yet in a great many … More Broken or Whole? (Illusions 1)
The reality of life without a pastor is harsh. I don’t know how some people live this way intentionally. It is horrible. 25 years of leadership in some capacity has left me technically well suited to life without a pastor. I can feed myself spiritually, I have done so for years. But I need a … More Shepherd Me Please
Written June 2018 I don’t dream well anymore. And that means I don’t sleep well either. I hate going to bed because sleep is impossible unless I am exhausted. My dreams are horrific. Death and destruction dog me relentlessly, making a horror movie seem like kiddie fare. Sometimes I am trying desperately to get away … More Waking Nightmares
I have a list and I hate it. On that list is everything the Holy Spirit brought to mind when I was getting right with my wife. It shocked me It is a list of those I committed adultery with. My wife has seen it. We have talked through it. That list is disgusting and … More Pandora’s Memories
Written June 2018 I have always been alone. Even as a child it seemed I could not make close friends. My cousin was the only close friend I ever had. The meaning of true friendship seems clear but where have I ever seen it in action? In those who abandoned my parents in multiple churches? … More Alone & Broken
A Soldiers Lament The soldier stands and fights alone Upon the windswept hill The flag of Heaven by his side The battle his Master’s will His armour bears the marks of war Each place tested by the foe His sword still swings with practiced ease His Saviour’s might to show. And underneath … More A Soldiers Lament
Be thankful for the fighting, For it means you’re still alive! Take courage from the battle, God will give you strength to strive. For when Satan gives me rest From the struggles of the day, I quickly start to worry That I’ve left the narrow way. God gave not an easy life … More Thanks for the Battle
It seems to me that most anger is not really what it seems. At least in our churches and families. A wise man called the smoke alarm of the soul. Anger sometimes is open. Sometimes it bubbles under the skin – but it is not really anger. It’s hurt. It’s a reaction to pain and … More Stealth Bombs
This is the outline of the last message I preached as a pastor. The making of a Pharisee (LBC, May 27, 2018) Matt 23:1-4 Pharisee: The name is almost a curse word if you have been in Christian circles long. It reeks of self-righteousness, judgment, and hypocrisy. And while not every Pharisee was … More The Making of a Pharisee
Learning to Run 